Going The Distance

Long distance relationship. Three words that almost always spell doom for couples. And who can blame them. Apart from the geographical and time differences, there are just so many other variables that come in between the doting couple.

Almost all long distance relationships are the result of career decisions. Better job prospects, higher education or long term assignments are the most common causes for couples to live in different cities, states, countries or continents. And its a valid one at that. These are the career choices that help secure a better future for the couple (Assuming the couple was serious about a future to begin with).

Apart from the fact that the couple is geographically split, many other things start changing as well. The routines are the first to alter. The time you spent together in person is of course spent trying to stay in touch or perhaps altogether replaced by increased involvement in some other facet of your life. Your friends and acquaintances change as well, which most of the time may also mean meeting new partners who seem to have none of the flaws you find in your existing one. But perhaps the most damning thing to ever transpire is that you do not miss your significant other at all!

Keeping in touch is of course the key. Today, staying in touch isn’t a challenge at all. Email, IM, facebook, twitter, flickr, the list of available online options is endless. You could let your significant other stay in touch with every single aspect of your life, virtually. But that’s the keyword here, “Virtual”. At the end of the day, we are flesh and bone and despite all the “updates” we get about our partner, we still long for the “Real” touch. We need that passionate hug at the end of the day, that shoulder to rest our tired head, those sensuous lips to kiss. There are some things that just can’t be replaced.

So how do couples survive this spatial and temporal separation for prolonged periods of time? If you’re already married, well things maybe simpler. You could argue that your partner is waiting for you back home, faithfully. But temptation doesn’t shy away from married souls. In fact, infidelity is perhaps the most common outcome of long distance married couples. And after a certain period of time, it just becomes difficult to hold on to the hope of being together sometime in the future. The void may be replaced by something else, or worse, someONE else. It just isn’t worth waiting anymore and people move on.

So are all couples involved in long distance relations doomed? The answer is as complex as it is simple. You asked the question and YOU are the answer. A relationship, shouldn’t require any additional effort. It flows, just like a river. Sure, you’re bound to hit a few boulders along the route, but your resilience and persistence will eventually prevail and you will meet the ocean.

This may sound sugar-coated, but in fact, the reality is, it’s not. What it is, is a reminder that relationships last if you want them to. So go ahead, make that call to your significant other and let them know that the distance is just temporary, the love, however, is forever.

“Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.” 
~ Francois de la Rouchefoucauld

3 thoughts on “Going The Distance

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